WHAT’S the point of having a shower if you can’t sing? Especially if you are Welsh.

My mum sent me a fridge magnet which reads: “To be born Welsh is to be born privileged. Not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but music in your blood and poetry in your soul.”

So you see singing comes naturally to me – though whether it’s good singing or not I’ll let others be the judge of that. As I don’t belong to a Welsh male voice choir the shower is the place where I cut loose. I belt out anything from We All Live in a Yellow Submarine (or tub of a margarine depending on the flippancy of my mood at the time) to Men of Harlech.

The wash basin is not a place to sing. That’s for brushing your teeth and quickly scrubbing your face. Neither is the bath a stage for your vocals. That’s a place for relaxing in hot water and nodding off, hoping you wake up before you drown or turn into a prune. The shower, on the other hand, is a songster’s paradise. But it’s under threat. Truly.

Hugo Chavez is the top man in Venezuela. He’s called the president and what do you think has been exercising the mind of this person in such an important position? Drugs? The economy? Crime? Well it’s none of those. It’s how long people spend in the shower.

He has effectively banned people from singing while taking a shower. He says his people should wash in less than three minutes and breaking into song could distract them from this Olympic-style target.

In a televised Cabinet meeting Mr Chavez said: “Some people sing in the shower, in the shower for half an hour. No kids, three minutes is more than enough. I’ve counted, three minutes, and I don’t stink.”

Clearly Gordon Brown has failed to grasp this major political issue, but as a man who appears to be clutching at straws just now, it may not be long before he climbs aboard this bandwagon – but one without tunes, of course.

The thing is though I’m wondering how Mr Chavez is planning to police this dictat. Will enforcement officers be bursting into people’s houses if they hear songs ringing in the bathrooms of Venezuela? Will culprits be given an on-the-spot fine while clutching a towel to cover their embarrassment?

Of course there is a serious issue behind the barmy headline. The South American country has suffered several major blackouts in the past year because of demand and under-investment. The problem has been made worse by a drop in water levels in hydroelectric dams which provide most of the country’s energy.

Be warned though. There are already predictions circulating of power cuts in our country in ten years’ time because of demand and shortage of supply. So make the most of shower singing now before we’re all washed up.

THERE’S a form of window shopping which can be embarrassing and you know you’re as guilty of it as me. It can’t be helped, your eyes slide to places – no matter how briefly – even when you don’t want them to.

Like magazines with risqué covers, extremely rude greetings cards or a surreptitious sideways look at women’s/men’s undies. It’s like when someone shouts: ‘Don’t look’ and of course you do or you suddenly find yourself saying something you don’t mean to and want to stuff the words back in your mouth as they pour out.

These are subconscious actions that crack off while the brain’s still working out whether or not they should be happening. Well now we’re all in trouble.

Because a software programme has been developed that records consumers’ eye movements. The Mobile Eye system which uses a thing called ‘gaze analysis’ has been developed by Bristol University.

I’m sure it infringes some rights or other. But in the meantime should this ever come to use I have an easy solution for you. Wear dark glasses when you go shopping.