Victorious Southend United manager Phil Brown said he and Wanderers boss Gareth Ainsworth chose to stand side by side in silent respect for each other as their players took part in the nerve-wracking penalty shoot-out at Wembley.

Brown – who revealed in his post match press conference he was interviewed for the Wanderers job in 2006 following his sacking from Derby County – won his second Wembley play-off final as a manager, having previously guided Hull City into the Premier League.

But while basking in the glow of another Wembley victory he admitted to feeling sorry for Ainsworth, a man he said disproved the theory nice guys don’t make good managers.

When Shrimpers goalkeeper Dan Bentley turned away Sam Wood’s spot kick, ensuring the Essex side triumphed 7-6 in a tense shoot-out to decide who would play League One football next season, rather than jubilantly run onto the pitch with his players Brown turned solemnly to Ainsworth and embraced the beaten Blues boss.

Brown opened his press conference by saying: “A guy I feel for at this moment is Gareth Ainsworth. I said the same after we [Hull] had beaten Bristol City about Gary Johnson. It’s an awful way to lose.”

He went on: “When we walked off when we lost the toss for the penalty shoot-out, he said, ‘Why don’t we just stand hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder?’ Everybody can run up and down the touchline and go crazy and celebrate – you do lose that bit of dignity at times. It’s almost a hatred for the opposition, so we agreed immediately to do that. It shows you the class of the guy.”

“People say managers and good guys don’t go hand in hand. [They say] you’ve got to ruthless, you’ve got to brutal, you’ve got to be horrible, you’ve got to make tough decisions – you can do that and be a decent guy at the same time, so long as you’re honest and truthful to yourself and your players.

“I spoke to the chairman at Wycombe when I interviewed for the job when I lost my position at Derby County. He’s got a great manager, he’s got a man with dignity, he’s got a man with class.

“He’s got good qualities as a person. I used to enjoy playing against him because he would get at you – he could take a kick but he could give you a kick, which as a winger is a rare commodity.

“There’s a lot of things I like about Gareth.”